Disclaimer: I am excitedly married. I wrote this back before I was engaged. I now share this as a reminder to the reader and myself that even in the most blissful moments in our life we must ask ourselves, “What momentary happiness could ever compare to the eternal joy we have in our Kings return?” “Am I waiting in attentive patience or am I distracting myself by the treats of life?”
When I was a young boy I thought about who’d I would marry one day. A young rural farm kid thinking about marriage? Now that is strange! But I did. Was it the girl down the dirt road, or was it the girl across the playground? Did she like cartoons? Was she born in another country like myself? I didn’t think about it too much, but every now and again I would find myself wondering. Then church crushes were formed, and I dated a girl who was in my youth group. Things didn’t work out, and she broke up with me. Soon after I would pursue, but not in a biblical way, several girls who God never intended for me to pursue. I just wanted somebody. All of my friends were getting married, and I just didn’t want to be left out. After a solid year of looking I stopped and turned to Jesus because I knew I wasn’t being obedient. I made a vow not to date until I knew God had prepared my heart to. God placed several men in my life, and some dependable friends who allowed me to see what biblical courtship is all about. Waiting was not the hardest part, but striving was the struggle. The next three years were filled with difficulty as I sins that I was learning to fight. I was able to grow, but patience seemed to become the key.
Callie and I met in a Biology lab three years ago. A couple of weeks ago we talked about when we actually started showing interest in another, and social media will tell that story better. One tweet and one picture posted in early May before she moved away for camp told of my initial interest in the Bama girl. A blazing hot summer sun scorched my feelings away and directed them to another girl. I started praying, and I started journaling. “I know marriage is possible, and that is what my heart desires. But let me find that desire in You.” I would ask God this frequently. The first day of my last day of college started and I was still single and searching. Now to fill this gap we both know how feelings can be especially if you are older, and the temptation to think, “I will be single forever” was a bad thing. So I strayed the path and then December hit with the cold chill and I started to pursue that girl from Alabama. We have been dating for several months now, and marriage is the end of this relationship here on earth if the Sovereign Lord wills.
If you pay attention to the world news even the slightest bit you know that war is breaking out, countries are unhappy with other countries, and decisions of government systems in the world are chaotic. Now we are in election season as America decides which of “the evil of the two lessers” will be picked. In the Old Testament God raised up kings and sat down kings in and He does the same with our civil leaders today.
I write this blog post because I believe it is possible that the girl that I am pursuing now and I may not make it to marriage. But is that okay? Is it okay that my first Love will come back rescuing me, and raising me up again like He promised? Would I rather hear wedding bells ring? or the sound of a mighty trumpet? Do I want to see my bride more than Christ wants to see His? These are the questions that I consider before I begin to think about my love for the girl I am pursuing on earth. What we intend for this relationship may not come about if the Lord decides now is the time to glorify Himself by raising all repentant followers from the dead, and judge the quick. He is righteous, and He is just, and His mercy keeps Him patient with all He created here on earth.
3/28/2016: Callie and I made it to marriage and we have graciously been married for eight months and five days. I wonder how long I’ll keep tracking like that! We were called to marriage because we are married. A wise man once told me that you are not called to something until you reach that point where you are at that something. So Callie and I have been here for what seems like a long time, and the above paragraph is still true in our hearts.
There are now a lot of “checkpoints” to reach as a married couple. The coming of our one year anniversary, our first child, our child’s first steps, child’s first day of school, our fifth year anniversary, etc. Now what is more important to us? To see all these events take place? What if Christ returns would it ruin all of our plans? What if we never make it to our anniversary or what if having kids is not something God has in store for us? There are a lot of things that we would like to happen, but we trust in God’s plan over ours. Our desire is that God would be most glorified in our marriage and we know that starts with being satisfied in Him in all things.